Backlogged: Polarity and Cosmic DJ

June 8, 2016May 4, 2020Kluwes1 Comment

The great thing about short games is that they’re short. You can sit down, start the game, beat it, see the credits, and have plenty day left to spare. This week I was able to check two games off my backlog list. Well, one was a game. The other was more of a muppet infused fever dream.

Polarity

Total Play Time: 2 hours

Polarity has you take on the role of a hacker trying to break in to one of the most secure systems in the world. And by hacking, I mean solving 3D platforming puzzles. It’s kind of like portal except the portals are replaced with moving colored cubes around.

You can switch between 2 polarities, blue and red. While your polarity is red, you can pass through red gates and lasers and vis versa for blue. There are blue and red cubes that when placed on corresponding platforms, will unlock doors, turn on jump pads, and raise or lower platforms. The levels are a mix between puzzles solving and obstacle courses that test how well you can switch polarities on the fly.

Screenshot (116).png — Each level has 3 data pieces to collect that unlock additional levels

I think this one is also a mobile or tablet game. It ran really smooth on my laptop even with the graphics all the way up. I finished the first 11 “story” levels in just under an hour but I enjoyed the gameplay so I took a swing at completing the bonus levels as well. I’m glad I did, the bonus levels were a lot more interesting. They took longer to complete and required a little more thinking and reflexes. There was only one pesky data piece I wasn’t able to collect in the single player puzzles but I can live with that. Sadly I was not able to try out the co-op campaign because the game didn’t recognize the PS4 controller.

Cosmic DJ

Total Play Time: 70 minutes

This was an experience. I have no idea why this game was in my steam library, maybe a friend gave it to me, maybe it came in a bundle I honestly don’t know but it was there. I played it and it was glorious.

You are a Cosmic DJ spoken to by a disembodied voice who calls himself the Cosmic Conductor. Steve4 (really that’s not a typo) has invaded the universe and is pumping out bad vibes. The Cosmic Conducter decides it’s your job to fight off the bad vibes and fix the 5 Jamtennas. Each Jamtenna has its own weird story to play through including but not limited to headless corgis, robot bands, and two felt puppet best friends. You’re only goal is to make sweet jams by looping sounds togetherr, eventually filling up the jam bar, and moving on to the next scene.

It’s hard to put into words exactly how strange this game is so here’s a bunch of screen shots instead:

So if you ever find this game lurking in your steam library turn the lights off, put on some headphones, and save the universe with the power of music.

Growing Up Gaming

June 7, 2016Kluwes5 Comments

This post is in response to this weeks NBI 2016 writing prompt.

When my family moved closer to the rest of the extended family, I got to know my cousins better. They were around my age and we liked the same things. We would have sleep overs and watch Pokemon, talk about digimon and play with action figures.

Growing up I never had cable. While other kids were watching Cartoon Network I was watching PBS. So it’s not really a surprise that when Saturday Morning Cartoons were still a thing, I was glued to the TV.

Our Saturday morning cartoons were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Spider-man, Batman, and Power Rangers. I was always looked forward to Pokemon and Digimon the most.

One day they showed me a Gameboy Color with Pokemon Blue. My 7 year old mind was blown. Not only could I catch whatever Pokemon I wanted, but I could battle them and get gym badges too! I watched them play these games any chance I got. Never playing a video game before, I was ecstatic when they let me play. We spent a lot of afternoons after school sharing a Gameboy and leveling our horde of Pokemon.

We played Pokemon games for a long time. my cousins got a second Gameboy and Pokemon Red so we didn’t have to share as much. We could finally collect them all. I remember having to connect the Gameboys with a cable to trade and battle. Ialways wondered how the pokeballs fit through that tiny wire.

We eagerly looked forward to the next installment of the series when the Ash set out for the Johto Region on TV. I don’t remember much about Silver or Gold, but I distinctly remember cloning 6 Quilavas and completing the game, good times.

A few years later, they got a Nintendo 64. I took every chance I could get to visit the cousins. We’d spend hours together playing Super Smash Brothers, chasing each other around in Golden Eye, and trying to get all the stars in Super Mario 64.

As we grew up, we grew apart. They grew out of Pokemon (I still haven’t).

Now when the family gets together it’s the younger cousins who want to play the games. They take out the Wii U and school us in Super Smash Bros. They teach us about Minecraft and show us their favorite streamers. We take out the N64 and they make fun of the graphics. But when we all get together we still play games and it’s just as much fun as it was back then.

A Love Affair with MMOs

June 3, 2016Kluwes5 Comments

Untitled-1

I’ve been MMOing since 2004. While I would really like day that my first experience with online games was with Runescape or World of Warcraft, it just isn’t so. See while all my friends were playing Runescape, I was playing Club Penguin. If you’re not sure what that is, it was basically a heavily moderated chat room with some mini games and a penguin avatars to dress up. For the life of me I can’t remember why I was so entranced by it, maybe because it was the first time I was playing a game that had any kind of chat feature at all. It took about a year for my friends to convince me to try this Runescape thing.

I like to think of Runescape as the gateway MMO. It wasn’t flashy, it ran in a browser, and it was pretty easy to learn to play. It was one of the first open world games I played and even as a free account, where 50% of the content was locked off, the map felt huge. I never could convince my parents to pay for a membership. It was in Runescape that I fell in love with watching numbers go up and there were so many skills to level! I played with friends almost every day for a year and a half before we all lost interest and moved on.

My parents never understood video games, nor could they see why they should spend $15 a month for me to play them. I missed out on playing World of Warcraft and other pay to play games. Guild Wars on the other hand was something I could buy from the store myself. I played Guild Wars and all of its expansions religiously for 4 years. . I had a menagerie of alts, I ran a guild, and I must have completed each campaign at least five times. Though I couldn’t tell you what the story was about now if you asked. I haven’t been able to sink my teeth into a game like that since.

Once I graduated high school, I didn’t have a lot of time for MMOs anymore. I experimented with League of Legends in college but ultimately gave up when no one else wanted to play. I patiently waited for Guild Wars 2 to launch but when it can out my laptop couldn’t run it. I was devastated. By the time I got a semi capable PC, no one I knew was playing it anymore.

Since graduating from college I have rekindled the old flame once again. While I haven’t found an MMO to stick with yet, I’ve fooled around with a lot. I bought The Secret World, I played FFXIV for 3 months, and I finally got a character to level 80 in Guild Wars 2. When I discovered what use to be Massively (now Massively OP), I realized I didn’t just enjoy the playing the genre but I enjoyed learning about the industry as well. Unfortunately my computer still isn’t ideal for gaming, making it impossible to play the newer, prettier titles out there. But I have enjoyed trying games out that it can run.

For the past few months some friends and I have been playing Trove. Most of them aren’t really into MMOs but like building and the super easy game play. For me it’s a little too simple, but it’s enjoyable in a group. Unfortunately, after the last few updates, my interest in Trove is dwindling. Once again I’m setting out to find my next MMO to settle down with. Maybe I’ll give Guild Wars 2 another try.

I’ve been wanting to start a blog for a while now, but never had the motivation to just sit down and write.I just learned about the Newbie Blogger Initiative a few days ago. I’m really excited to participate in the events and talk with other bloggers. I’m aiming to post at least twice a week, maybe more if time allows. It’s been a blast so far.

Backlogged: Back To Bed

May 31, 2016May 4, 2020KluwesLeave a comment

How Long To Beat Average Time: 1 Hour

My Time to Beat: 2 Hours

My cat woke me up earlier than I wanted this morning, so I decided to get started on my backlog challenge. There’s something to be said about playing a game about keeping a man asleep while not being able to get back to sleep myself. But I’m not clever enough to find it. So once the cat was fed and watered, I took a journey into some one else’s dreams.

Screenshot (110)

Back to Bed tells the story of Bob. Bob has narcolepsy and Bob has a tendency to sleep walk on the roofs of buildings. I didn’t play as Bob, I played some sort of green dog with a persons face. As Bob’s spirit animal, it’s apparently my job to make sure Bob is returned to his bed without him falling to his death or waking him up.

B2B Feature — The foot prints show which way Bob will walk, I would have been so lost without them

The game starts out simple enough, as a puzzle game should. Bob walks in a straight line until he runs into something, then he turns clockwise and walks in a straight line again. You can move apples around for Bob to walk in to. Usually one or two of these can be found in each level. Sometimes there are portals that Bob will walk through and end up on the other side of the map. Other levels have “enemies” like dogs and alarm clocks which must be avoided or Bob will wake up. In the second chapter, there are fish that can be moved around to act as bridges.

The Fish…

…is actually a bridge

I’m not sure which cam first the PC or the mobile version, but Back to Bed recommends to play with a controller. Luckily the PS4 controller works with the game and the controls are really smooth.

Back to Bed has 2 story chapters each consisting of 15 levels. Once complete, 2 additional “Nightmare” chapters are unlocked which add an extra challenge.

There wasn’t one way to complete each level either. Sometimes puzzle games frustrate me because there is only one answer and if you miss a detail its not solved. This game had as much to do with timing as it did with the positioning of objects to guide Bob across. It lead to some pretty tense moments of shifting apples around frantically to stop Bob from falling off.

Screenshot (102) — Beware Walking Alarm Clocks

At first the Escher inspired levels, the weird robotic voice, and the subtly strange background music were unsettling. By the time I was five or so levels in I began to enjoy the whole surreal setting. It adds to the challenge, not everything is as it seems. After the first chapter, I didn’t want to stop until I completed the game.

I forgot how relaxing and fun simple puzzle games can be. A good puzzle game should introduce you to the concepts and then mix them up to give the player a challenge. Back to Bed does a fine job of doing. I felt pretty accomplished when I finally found the solution to a level I’d been stuck on for a while. It was a nice change of pace from what I usually play.

Well it’s still early, and I think I myself will go Back to Bed… Screenshot (100)

Taking Inventory

May 30, 2016May 4, 2020Kluwes1 Comment

Hello, hi, and welcome to my very first post here at I’m Not Squishy! This blog will chronicle my adventures through my backlog and serve as a platform to write about my unyielding love for MMOs,RPGs, and video games of every flavor.

Now I know what your thinking, having a backlog of video games is probably the biggest first world problem right next to the Starbucks running out of whip cream. Why does it matter if these games go unfinished? Well the truth is it doesn’t, but it sounds like a whole lot of fun trying to beat as many as I can!

Meet the Backlog:

It’s always best to know what your up against when you start a project. I took the time to actually look through my Bin O’ Games and see just how many games I have left to complete. The break down looks something like this:

PlayStation 4: 9 unfinished games*

8 PS4 Games — *Digital Download: Tom Clancy’s The Division

PlayStation 3: 32 unfinished games*

20160529_193615 — *Digital Downloads: Mass Effect 1, 2 and 3, Ni No Kuni Wrath of the White Witch

3DS/DS: 7 unfinished Games*

5 3DS games and a DS game — * Digital Download: Little Battlers Experience

Things didn’t seem so bad until I opened up my Steam Library. When I did….oh god, the horror! I’ve only had steam for 2 years and only discovered Humble Bundle last year. This has resulted in a whopping 79 unfinished games, many of which I never even started up. According to http://www.howlongtobeatsteam.com, it would take about a month of playing 24/7 to beat the main story in all of my games.

I’ve decided to tackle my Steam Library and my PS4 collection first because I can take pretty screenshots easily. (Full disclosure, my laptop is 4 years old and runs an Intel 4000 integrated graphics chip so the screen shots from steam may not be so pretty.) For Steam I’m going to start with the games that take the least time to beat and work my way up. For PS4, PS3, and 3DS I’m going to play whatever I’m in the mood for.

I’m going to consider the game beaten once the credits role and/or the last level is beaten, the main story is over, the goal is obtained at which point there names will be immortalized on the Games Beaten page. Actually after sitting down and going through the collection I have found some games to add to the games beaten page.

Many Welps

Author: Kluwes