I Only PVP Socially

20200414184202_1.jpgNow that I’m playing more Hunt: Showdown I’ve been thinking more about my relationship with PVP games. If you would have asked me a week ago I would have told you I avoid them and I’m a PVE carebear all the way. But that’s not entirely true. When I reflect back, some of my best gaming memories come from PVP with friends. And that’s the key: I find myself only enjoying these types of games with friends.

My first encounter with PVP was in the wilds of Runescape. A zone you could go to fight other people and then lose most of your stuff when you died. I don’t remember if there was another reason to go into that zone.I spent very little time there. I do remember going in there with one of my friends and a friend of a friend and getting killed by a said friend of a friend….that was probably my last visit.

Then there was Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. All the kids were playing it, seriously. That’s all my circle of friends talked about for months. All we did in our free time. During this time, I went to a friend’s birthday party who’s parents ha rented out one of those gaming arena’s with 50 or so gaming desktops inside. It was a lock-in where we played this game for probably 15 hours straight.  This is the game that taught me a) I’m not great at aiming and b) I get really tensed up when playing against other people. This still persists today and I recognize that I make bad gameplay decisions because of it.

College was the year of League of Legends with my friends. Long nights of matches against randoms. When we had enough people we’d play 5v5 against each other. We’d watch the LCS together on the weekends. I never did get into the ranked mode and I rarely played solo queue.

Most recently, I played a lot of Apex and Battlefield 5 last year with the boys. Up until playing Hunt: Showdown this past week I don’t think I’ve touched a PVP game in months.

I haven’t found a PVP game I’ve gotten enjoyment out of on my own. Part of this is that I don’t want to get yelled at people online for poor performance. It’s not something that I particularly enjoy. It helps to know I have one person on my team I know. I love League of Legends but I can’t play it on my own without turning off all the chat options. The other part is I get overly frustrated on my own. It literally brings out the worst in me and I’m not sure why. I lose at PVE games I’m fine but the second I get beat by another player my temper flares up. Which is weird because I don’t consider myself a highly competitive person.

The little part of my brain that always wants to take up new hobbies is fixating on finding a PVP game on my own. I thought of maybe trying to get back into Black Desert or some sort of PVE mixed with PVP game and try to take a calm approach to it. But I also know that in a week or two that feeling will probably pass.

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